Conquering Shame – Psalm 139 (2026.06.14)
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Message Introduction
Scripture
Turn to Psalm 139.
This is one of the passages our children studied in VBS this week.
On Tuesday, they learned that God made them fearfully and wonderfully.
This morning, I want us to hear that same truth as adults, because Psalm 139 speaks directly to one of the most painful diseases of the soul: SHAME.
Shame
What is shame?
Shame is different than guilt...
Guilt, as an emotion, is feeling bad about something you have done.
Shame, though, is feeling you ARE bad.
Shame is the painful feeling that something is wrong with you.
Not just, “I failed.”
But, “I am a failure.”
Not just, “I sinned.”
But, “I am dirty.”
Not just, “Something happened to me.”
But, “I am damaged.”
(Ashamed describes the person who is experiencing shame.)
And shame usually comes to us in one of three forms:
CREATIONAL SHAME
Shame over how God made me...
My body, my appearance, my personality, my limits, my weakness, my story.
“Something is wrong with how I was made.”
WOUNDED SHAME
Shame over what has been done to me...
Abuse, rejection, betrayal, ridicule, abandonment, humiliation.
“Something happened to me, so something must be wrong with me.”
MORAL SHAME
Shame over what I have done...
Sin, failure, compromise, regret, hidden choices.
“Because I did wrong, I am beyond mercy.”
Shame can cripple the soul.
It can separate us from God, silencing our worship and stealing our joy.
It can separate us from people, even the people who love us most.
It can lead to broken living: depression, anger, bitterness, hiding, pretending.
Shame is a massive problem in our culture, but it is not a new problem. It is as old as sin itself.
The Bible begins with shame.
In Genesis 2, Adam and Eve were “naked, yet felt no shame.”
Genesis 2.25 | Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame. (CSB)
But in Genesis 3, after they sinned, they covered themselves and hid from the Lord.
That is what shame does...
It says, “Cover up.”
It says, “Hide.”
It says, “Do not let yourself be seen.”
The Old Testament is filled with stories of shame.
Barren women felt shame.
Defeated kings were put to shame.
Israel’s sin brought shame and disgrace.
The poor, the suffering, and the rejected often cried out for God not to let them be put to shame.
The New Testament also speaks often of shame.
The cross itself was an instrument of public shame.
Jesus “despised the shame” and endured the cross for us.
We will come back to this.
The gospel promises that everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.
And today, though we often use different names (labels) for it, many people are being crushed by shame.
We call it insecurity.
We call it anxiety.
We call it low self-esteem.
We call it regret.
We call it embarrassment.
We call it body image struggles.
We call it fear of rejection.
People use shame as a prompt to cut themselves...
But underneath many of those words is the same old ache:
“Something is wrong with me.”
“I need to hide.”
“If I am fully known, I will not be loved.”
Psalm 139, one of the most familiar psalms, speaks to people struggling through shame...
And it speaks to us all as we learn better how to celebrate how God has made us and how God loves us.
Scripture
Background for Psalm 139...
This is a psalm of king David.
We do not know the specific historical situation that prompted David's writing of this psalm.
When I read it, it feels like something David would have written later in his life.
We know that David had faced some grave difficulty.
We see in verse 19 that David had dealt with wicked and bloodthirsty men.
But David is comforted as he meditates on God's involvement in his life.
Remember...
Remember, David was not a perfect man.
David was guilty of some very shameful sins...
David's children did some very shameful things...
He had been shamed by the actions of two of his children.
David failed in his leadership in some shameful ways...
So, what did David do in his shame?
He did not run away from the Lord...
He ran TO the Lord!
We are going to walk through the psalm first, then gather its truths around four lies shame tells us.
I should point out that Psalm 139 is not primarily about shame.
It is primarily about how David benefits from knowing how God knows him.
But in our study of those truths, what we learn informs those who are struggling with shame.
Psalm 139.1 | Lord, you have searched me and known me. (CSB)
Searched...
God has examined David thoroughly.
Does that encourage you or frighten you?
Shame says, “If I am searched, I will be rejected.”
Psalm 139.2 | You know when I sit down and when I stand up; you understand my thoughts from far away.(CSB)
“Sit down” and “stand up” is a way of saying ordinary life.
Sit down...
Private life...
Stand up...
Public life...
God knows David’s daily rhythms, habits, movements, and routines.
God also knows his inner life: “my thoughts.”
God knows not only what David does, but what David thinks.
Psalm 139.3 | You observe my travels and my rest; you are aware of all my ways. (CSB)
Psalm 139.4 | Before a word is on my tongue, you know all about it, Lord. (CSB)
God knows David’s words before David speaks them.
This includes careless words, sinful words, wounded words, and worshipful words.
God knows not only the sentence, but the heart beneath the sentence.
Psalm 139.5 | You have encircled me; you have placed your hand on me. (CSB)
This is meant to communicate love and care...
Like the loving and caring embrace of your mom or your spouse...
Psalm 139.6 | This wondrous knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it. (CSB)
God's knowledge is too vast and too wonderful for David to comprehend it.
Psalm 139.7 | Where can I go to escape your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? (CSB)
There is no escape from the presence and the knowledge of the Lord.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
It depends.
Let's see.
Psalm 139.8 | If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. (CSB)
Heaven is high; Sheol is low...
There is no height so high and no depth so low that God is absent.
Psalm 139.9 | If I live at the eastern horizon or settle at the western limits, (CSB)
A literal translation would be...
I take up the wings of the dawn; I dwell at the end of the sea.
The dawn is the east...
The sea (the Mediterranean from Israel's perspective) is the west...
From east to west, from sunrise to sunset, God is there.
Psalm 139.10 | even there your hand will lead me; your right hand will hold on to me. (CSB)
God's knowledge and presence is not to condemn but to guide.
If a parent is watching their child in the front yard...
The purpose is not to find them guilty of running into the road...
The purpose is to keep them from running into the road.
Psalm 139.11 | If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will be night”— (CSB)
Psalm 139.12 | even the darkness is not dark to you. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to you. (CSB)
What is darkness?
Darkness is the inability or reduced ability to see reality.
For God, there is no darkness and no dark places.
Psalm 139.13 | For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.(CSB)
David's life was not accidental.
God had a hand in his life from the womb.
Created my inward parts...
Knit me together in my mother's womb...
May I stop and say something that may be hard to hear...
On the authority of Scripture...
Every person, from its earliest beginning, is created in the image of God and formed under the care of God.
Genesis 1.26 | Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, the whole earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth.” (CSB)
Genesis 1.27 | So God created man in his own image; he created him in the image of God; he created them male and female. (CSB)
Crafted by a loving God on purpose and with purpose...
Loved and valued by the God of heaven...
If anyone who calls himself a minister and a teacher of God's word and says otherwise...
He or she is either ignorant of God's word...
Or he is lying about God's word...
The only intellectually honest way2 to support abortion as a believer...
Be ignorant of what the Bible says...
Deny the truth of Scripture...
Did you see the sickening video this past week where the famous YouTuber announced the termination of a pregnancy because of the possibility of Down's Syndrome?
If you didn't, please don't.
I don't want to help him profit even more from this double tragedy.
Listen church...
No diagnosis removes the image of God.
No disability diminishes human dignity.
No child is valuable because he or she is wanted or is unwanted by us.
Every person is valuable simply because he or she is made, known, and loved by God.
Psalm 139.14 | I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. (CSB)
The human body is so remarkable...
Think about the human eye.
The eye controls how much light enters.
It focuses.
It lubricates itself.
It tracks movement.
And through the rods and cones of the retina, it receives light and distinguishes between different wavelengths.
Around 480 nanometers, we perceive blue.
Around 500 nanometers, we perceive teal.
Around 530 nanometers, we perceive green.
A nanometer is one-billionth of a meter.
To give you a sense of scale, a human hair can be around 100,000 nanometers wide.
A machine can be assembled. But you were formed.
A product can be manufactured. But you were made.
A statistic can be counted. But you were known.
David is not saying, “I am wonderful apart from God.”
David is saying, “I am wonderfully made because God’s works are wonderful.”
To despise yourself as worthless is to forget that you are one of God’s works.
Psalm 139.15 | My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. (CSB)
Bones..
“Bones” may refer to David’s physical frame.
Made in secret...
“Made in secret” points again to the womb.
Depths of the earth...
“Depths of the earth” is poetic language for hiddenness, mystery, and formation.
David was hidden from human eyes, but not from God.
Psalm 139.16 | Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began. (CSB)
This is about God's divine providence...
This is not FATALISM.
This is not "my choices do not matter..."
This is "God superintends over our lives..."
How can we be sure of this?
Psalm 139 itself includes moral agency.
David prays, worships, asks God to search him, and asks God to lead him.
All of this is presented as if agency matters.
Wounded shame says, “My story is meaningless.”
David says, “My days are not outside God’s knowledge.”
Psalm 139.17 | God, how precious your thoughts are to me; how vast their sum is! (CSB)
David moves from God’s knowledge of him to his wonder at God.
God’s thoughts are “precious,” not merely numerous.
David is comforted by the depth of God’s wisdom.
He does not understand everything God knows, but he treasures it.
Psalm 139.18 | If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with you. (CSB)
Those are the words of a man who had every reason (personal, family, leadership and career) to be filled with shame...
But instead of shame, he had the peace of God!
Shame says...
Beautiful psalm...
But what does Psalm 139 say to those who struggle with shame?
Let me show you four things Shame says...
And four things God says in response...
I. "I am defective." But God says, "You are wonderfully made."
Sometimes people experience shame because they believe they are defective.
Maybe there is a disability, a limitation, or a physical condition that makes life harder than it seems to be for everyone else.
And the enemy has taught them to interpret difficulty as defect...
Maybe there is something about them the world calls weakness.
A body that does not work the way they wish it worked.
A mind that struggles in ways others do not see.
A personality that feels too quiet, too sensitive, too awkward, too anxious, or too different.
Maybe they have been ridiculed by the culture.
Mocked for how they look.
Mocked for how they speak.
Mocked for their size, their skin, their hair, their age, their family, their background, their poverty, or their limitations.
Maybe they have spent years comparing themselves to other people and always coming up short.
Not beautiful enough.
Not healthy enough.
Not intelligent enough.
Not strong enough.
Not capable enough.
Not successful enough.
Not normal enough.
But Psalm 139 speaks a better word.
David does not look at himself apart from God.
David does not measure himself by the mirror, the crowd, the culture, or the cruel opinions of others.
David looks at himself as the handiwork of God.
Psalm 139.14 | I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well.
David’s confidence is not, “I am wonderful because I say so.”
David’s confidence is, “I am wonderfully made because God’s works are wonderful.”
Shame says, “There is something wrong with you.”
God says...
You are not a mistake.
You are not an accident.
You are not disposable.
You are my handiwork.
This is not about a positive self-image or high self-esteem.
I know we have a lot of educators in the room...
Self esteem is a big topic in education...
And I am no education expert...
BUT, I believe we have gotten too caught up in something that is...
Untrue...
Unhelpful...
And unbiblical...
If you build your life upon what kind of positive thoughts you can gen up about yourself...
Then you have built your life on shaky ground.
This is about recognizing the greatness of God...
Psalm 139.14 | I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. (CSB)
I should not be ashamed because I am created and loved by our great God!
**II. “I am what happened to me.” But God says, “Your wounds do not define you.”
Sometimes people experience shame because something has happened to them or been done to them.
MAYBE...
Maybe someone sinned against them.
Abused them.
Betrayed them.
Abandoned them.
Manipulated them.
Used them.
Humiliated them.
Maybe they were wounded by someone who should have protected them.
A parent.
A spouse.
A friend.
A teacher.
A coach.
A church leader.
Someone they trusted.
Maybe they carry shame from a family story they did not choose.
Divorce.
Addiction.
Poverty.
Instability.
Violence.
Neglect.
A household where love felt conditional and safety felt uncertain.
And over time, shame begins to speak.
“This is who you are now.”
“You are damaged.”
“You are dirty.”
“You are unwanted.”
“You are ruined.”
“You will always be what happened to you.”
But Psalm 139 speaks a better word.
David says God saw him when no one else could see him.
Psalm 139.15 | My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth.
David says God knew his story before he ever lived it.
Psalm 139.16 | Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began.
That does not mean everything that happened to you was good.
Some things were evil.
Some things were painful.
Some things were unjust.
Some things should never have happened.
But it does mean your life has never been outside the sight of God.
You were not unseen.
You were not forgotten.
You were not abandoned to meaninglessness.
Your wound is part of your story, but it is not the WHOLE STORY.
Your suffering may have shaped you, but it does not own you.
What happened to you may explain some things about you, but it does not define you.
Wounded shame...
This does not mean everything that happened to you was good. It means everything that happened to you is still beneath the authority of a good God.
What happened to you may be part of your story, but it is not lord over your story.
Your wounds do not define you...
David
David was not...
The son who was overlooked by his father...
The man who was condemned as a traitor by king Saul...
The man whose son became a rapist...
Amnon
The man who was betrayed by one of his sons...
Absalom
David was a man fearfully and wonderfully made by the creator!
Recent meeting with a precious lady in our church...
It was a get to know you kind of meeting...
She mentioned three or four times in our meeting that she was divorced...
The last time, I gently stopped her...
Listen, divorce is a part of your story...
But that is not who you are...
I'm sure there is a whole story around the divorce...
There always is...
I don't know your story and that is not what we were talking about...
But who you are is not a divorced woman...
Who you are is a woman fearfully and wonderfully made and loved by the creator!
What happened to you may truly have wounded you, but it does not have the authority to name you.
God made you before others wounded you, saw you while others sinned against you, and is able to cleanse what you could never cleanse yourself.
III. “If you knew me, you would reject me.” But God says, “I know you fully.”
Sometimes people experience shame because they have sinned or failed morally.
Maybe they did something they deeply regret.
They lied.
They cheated.
They stole.
They exploded in anger.
They crossed a line they said they would never cross.
They hurt someone they loved.
Maybe they carry shame from a season of life they wish they could erase.
A season of rebellion.
A season of addiction.
A season of sexual sin.
A season of dishonesty.
A season of spiritual coldness.
A season where they walked far from God.
Maybe they are haunted by a decision they cannot undo.
Words they cannot unsay.
Damage they cannot easily repair.
A relationship they helped destroy.
A child they wounded.
A spouse they betrayed.
A friend they failed.
But Psalm 139 speaks a better word.
God knows...
That sounds frightening.
We will see if it is in a moment...
David said...
Psalm 139.1 | Lord, you have searched me and known me.
Psalm 139.2 | You know when I sit down and when I stand up; you understand my thoughts from far away.
Psalm 139.3 | You observe my travels and my rest; you are aware of all my ways.
Psalm 139.4 | Before a word is on my tongue, you know all about it, Lord.
Remember what David said about darkness and the Lord...
Scripture
Psalm 139.11 | If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will be night”— (CSB)
Psalm 139.12 | even the darkness is not dark to you. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to you. (CSB)
There is place so dark that God loses sight of you...
And there is no shame so deep that God cannot meet you there.
God knows...
God knows the thing you hope no one ever finds out.
God knows the story behind the story.
God knows the motive beneath the action.
God knows the thought before it becomes a word.
God knows the word before it leaves your mouth.
God knows the pattern you have excused.
God knows the compromise you have hidden.
God knows the version of yourself you are afraid to show anyone else.
Shame says...
You do not have to wonder what would happen if God found out.
He already knows.
You do not have to fear that one more detail would change his mind.
He already knows.
You do not have to live terrified that exposure would destroy the possibility of grace.
You are already exposed before him.
Shame says, “If you knew the whole truth, you would turn away.”
Psalm 139 says, “God already knows the whole truth.”
The question is not, “Can I keep this hidden from God?”
You cannot.
The question is, “What kind of God knows me this fully?”
The big question...
So, what does the God who knows... What does he say?
IV. "Hide." But God says, "I already see you. Come to me."
Hide...
Shame says, “Hide because you are known.”
The gospel says, “Come because you are known.”
Shame always says, “Get out of sight.”
Psalm 139 says, “There is no such place, and that is mercy.”
Let me tell you about the heart of Jesus...
In his life...
First, Jesus did not separate himself from those culture said should be ashamed...
He was criticized for eating with "many tax collectors and sinners."
Mark 2.16 | When the scribes who were Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” (CSB)
He was accused of being friends with drunkards...
Luke 7.34 | The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ (CSB)
He touched lepers...
Mark 1.41 | Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched him. “I am willing,” he told him. “Be made clean.” (CSB)
Jesus allowed an unclean woman to touch him...
Mark 5.30 | Immediately Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched my clothes?” (CSB)
Jesus welcomed publicly sinful women...
Luke 7.50 | And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”(CSB)
Jesus was never careless about sin, but he was never afraid of being near sinners.
He moved toward the ashamed, the unclean, the rejected, and the morally broken.
When they touched him, they did not make him UNCLEAN.
He made them CLEAN.
Not because he was nice...
Not by being nice...
But by the cross!
In his death...
Scripture
Hebrews 12.2 | keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (CSB)
Jesus did not simply tell ashamed people to come out of hiding.
He entered the place of shame himself.
He was exposed, rejected, mocked, stripped, crucified, and publicly humiliated.
He endured the cross, despised the shame, and rose in honor so that everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.
Jesus undid the Genesis 3 story...
Christ was stripped naked and publicly exposed...
The reversal of the fig-leaf instinct...
So that the exposed sinner could be clothed!
Bring your shame to the cross...
Shame says, “Hide.”
Jesus says, “Come.”
Shame says, “Cover yourself.”
Jesus says, “Let me cover you.”
Shame says, “If you are exposed, you will be condemned.”
Jesus says, “I was exposed and condemned so you could be forgiven and clothed.”
Shame says, “You are too dirty.”
Jesus says, “I make sinners clean.”
Shame says, “You are too guilty.”
Jesus says, “I bore your guilt.”
Shame says, “You are too far gone.”
Jesus says, “Everyone who believes on me will not be put to shame.”
Romans 10.11 | For the Scripture says, Everyone who believes on him will not be put to shame. (CSB)
This is why hiding will never heal you.
Hiding may keep people from knowing.
But hiding cannot make you clean.
Hiding may protect your reputation for a while.
But hiding cannot give you peace with God.
Hiding may keep your story buried.
But hiding cannot raise the dead places of your soul.
Only Jesus can do that.
Only Jesus can forgive guilt.
Only Jesus can cleanse shame.
Only Jesus can restore what sin has broken.
Only Jesus can speak a better word over your life.
So come out of hiding.
Not because your shame is small.
Because Jesus is greater.
Not because your sin does not matter.
Because Jesus’s blood is enough.
Not because what happened to you was not painful.
Because Jesus is gentle with the wounded.
Not because exposure is easy.
Because the One who sees you already is the One who died to save you.
Bring him the shame you cannot fix.
Bring him the sin you cannot undo.
Bring him the wound you cannot heal.
Bring him the story you cannot rewrite.
Bring him the darkness you cannot escape.
And listen to the promise of Psalm 139.
There is no...
There is no place so dark that God cannot see you.
There is no place so low that God cannot reach you.
There is no shame so deep that Christ cannot cleanse you.
There is no sinner so exposed that Jesus cannot cover him.
There is no wound so hidden that Jesus cannot meet you there.
Shame says, “Hide.”
God says, “I already see you. Come to me.”
Conclusion
This is why David can end the psalm with a prayer that "shame" would never pray.
Shame says...
Shame says, “Do not search me.”
Shame says, “Do not know me.”
Shame says, “Do not look too closely.”
But grace teaches us to pray:
Psalm 139.23 | Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. (CSB)
Psalm 139.24 | See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way. (CSB)
That is what freedom sounds like.
Not hiding from the God who sees.
But coming to the God who sees.
Not pretending before the God who knows.
But surrendering to the God who knows.
Not covering ourselves with fig leaves.
But being covered by the grace of Jesus Christ.
Shame says, “If I am fully known, I cannot be loved.”
But the gospel says, “In Jesus Christ, you are fully known, fully exposed, fully seen, and by grace through faith, fully forgiven.”