Sermon: Rooted in the Sermon on the Mount – More than Paperwork – Mt 5.31–32 (3/1/26)
Introduction
Prayer for our nation and world in crisis...
It is not a surprise to any of you to hear this morning that our nation and our world are in crisis.
And what may unfold in the next hours or days, only the Lord knows.
But the Lord DOES KNOW.
And we can take comfort in his goodness and sovereignty.
We can rest in his love...
The Bible commands us at times like this, and at all times, to pray.
I believe Christians' prayers today should be focused on...
Wisdom for leaders...
Protection for soldiers...
Every soldier would have a sense of your presence...
Protection for Christians and churches in theater...
Those are our brothers and sisters in Christ, our family...
Gospel there...
Islam, and particularly Shia Islam, is a bulwark against the gospel.
The people of Iran, who are predominantly Muslim under Shia Islam, represent one of the great unreached contexts in the world where the gospel must shine brightly.
Gospel here...
Peace...
Prayer...
Wars and rumors of wars...
Part of living in a fallen world...
Scripture
Turn to Matthew 5.
The Corruption of Marriage
For thousands of years, marriage has stood at the center of human civilization.
Empires have risen and fallen.
Philosophies have flourished and faded.
Cultures have shifted.
Revolutions have redrawn borders and rewritten laws.
Yet through it all, the ancient institution of marriage has remained.
Doesn't that seem odd?
I was at an SFA basketball game recently, just watching people as they came in.
I noticed something...
Most of the non-student crowd were paired up, man and woman.
Not perfectly...
Not universally...
But overwhelmingly.
Why?
Because the impulse...
To pair...
To covenant...
To belong to someone and be known by someone...
It is built into us.
It is not merely cultural.
It is creational.
While marriage has remained, it has not remained unchanged.
Every generation has sought to improve it.
INNOVATIONS
Prenuptial agreements
No-fault divorce
Cohabitation
Serial monogamy
Open relationships
Same-sex unions
Redefinition of gender roles
We have poured modern psychology into it...
We have layered self-help strategies onto it...
All of these "advances", but no improvements...
You would think by now we would have perfected it.
You would think marriage would be a continual, effortless source of joy and encouragement.
After all, look at how we’ve improved everything else.
Examples
From chariots, to wagons, to luxury cars that can drive themselves from coast to coast while keeping us in perfect comfort with very little concern about mechanical issues.
From the telegram to the smart phone...
From hot air balloons to jet airplanes...
We have refined transportation.
We have revolutionized communication.
We have advanced technology beyond imagination.
But marriage?
It hasn’t become simpler.
It hasn’t become more stable.
It hasn’t become more dependable.
It hasn’t become more fulfilling.
WHY?
Because marriage does not need more innovation.
We do not need more advances.
We do not need a new design.
We need to return to the ORIGINAL design.
And we will see this in the Sermon on the Mount...
We have been studying Jesus's Sermon on the Mount for six months.
We have covered almost every imaginable topic...
Today we come to one of the more difficult topics to talk about...
But this last one is vital.
We will learn what Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount about the topic of marriage, divorce, and remarriage...
Hang with me on this...
Before we go any further, I need to ask something of you.
Stay with me.
For Some...
Some of you are single.
Single, single again, widowed...
You may think, “This really doesn’t apply to me.”
But it does...
Because when the Lord speaks about marriage, he is not only teaching husbands and wives.
He is revealing his design, his authority, and his heart.
And we all need to understand how God orders even the most practical parts of life.
Some of you are bruised
You carry...
Regret
Disappointment.
Wounds that have not fully healed.
And you may be wondering, “Am I ready for a message like this?”
Hear me carefully...
The word of God is not given to crush you.
It is given to clarify truth...
To call us to repentance where needed...
To remind us that grace meets us in real places...
And for some of you, if you are honest, you think you have this figured out.
Your marriage is steady.
Your convictions are firm.
You feel secure.
But none of us outgrows our need for the Lord’s instruction.
Listen...
We all need the Lord’s word on this.
For the health and maturity of our church.
For the next generation who are watching what we believe and how we live.
And ultimately, for the glory of the Lord.
So hang with me.
We may walk through some difficult terrain in the next few minutes.
Some truths may press on us.
Some applications may challenge us.
But I believe that when we reach the end, you will not be crushed.
You will be clearer.
You will be steadier.
And by God’s grace, you will be encouraged.
Scripture
Matthew 5.31 | It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. (CSB)
Jesus begins by pointing to a controversy in his day.
Ever since God created/instituted marriage, people have tried to redefine it.
In Jesus's day, the controversy was between two groups.
Groups
The first group, the school of Shammai, believed that marriage involved a sacred bond and it could not be easily severed.
The second group, the school of Hillel, essentially believed that marriage was not sacred but could be dissolved on the whim of the husband.
Marriage was a partnership of convenience for the man.
This was the more popular position.
Both groups pointed to a passage in Deuteronomy 24...
Deuteronomy 24.1 | If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house. (CSB)
The point of this verse (and the following verses) was not about endorsing or supporting divorce.
The point was to protect women who were being abandoned by their husbands but unable to move forward with another marriage because they were not officially divorced.
Deuteronomy 24 regulates divorce.
It does not institute it.
Jesus will push past both of those traditional interpretations in the next verse.
Community Preoccupation
The Jewish community, especially the Pharisees, were preoccupied with all of the ways people could justify divorce and all the ways then they could justify getting remarried.
We have the list of justifications embraced by the Hillel community (a later copy) in the Mishnah...
A man may divorce his wife even if she spoiled his dish.
A man may divorce his wife even if she spoke too loudly.
Men, Raise your hand if your wife has ever "spoken too loudly" to you...
A man may divorce his wife even if she failed in some domestic expectation.
A man may divorce his wife even if he found another woman more beautiful than his wife.
Failure
Of course, the Hillel group got things completely wrong.
But their greatest failing is that they did not understand the sacredness (sanctity) of marriage.
Matthew 5.32 | But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (CSB)
We will cover the details, but Jesus basically declares that marriage must not be treated casually.
Marriage is SACRED.
Sometimes I hear people ask why God is so concerned about divorce and remarriage.
The simple answer...
It is not that God is so concerned about divorce and remarriage...
It is that God so values marriage and the sacredness of marriage.
We will see this as we get deeper into this message.
Everyone who divorces his wife...
The Jewish culture only permitted men to divorce women.
So Jesus addresses this issue in cultural terms.
In our culture, the husband/wife instructions and warnings go both directions.
Everyone who divorces his wife... causes her to commit adultery...
We will come back to the EXCEPT part in a moment.
This is not saying that the man causes his wife to sin.
Sin involves a willful decision to disobey God's instruction.
To get technical...
The aorist passive infinitive structure can be translated to say that the woman is made a victim of adultery.
He makes her to be adulterated...
The man who divorces his wife (without reason) puts her in a desperate situation.
In that culture she would be automatically stigmatized as having not been faithful.
And any future husband would be stigmatized either as being the one who had an illicit relationship with her or at least stigmatized as one who would marry a woman who had not been faithful.
In that culture she would find herself in a situation that would make it very hard for her to not attach herself to a man just for the financial support and protection.
It also puts her in a position where she may very likely choose to sin by improperly engaging in an inappropriate future relationship.
This statement is not mainly a comment about the divorced woman's character.
It is an indictment of the divorcing husband who is treating his marriage as disposable.
Or the wife if she is initiating the divorce.
Now, if this sounds abrupt in any way, it may be because you don't know that God hates divorce!
Scripture
Malachi 2.16 | “If he hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord God of Israel, “he covers his garment with injustice,” says the Lord of Armies. Therefore, watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously. (CSB)
God hates divorce, but he does not hate divorced people.
In fact, God hates divorce because of what it does to people.
And, God hates all sin.
So, this is not an attack just on those who have divorced without biblical grounds.
But clearly, God hates divorce.
And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
I will try to answer some of the specific questions this phrase raises in a moment...
But the main message is that there are downstream consequences to divorce, especially divorce that does not have biblical grounds.
What are some of those downstream consequences?
For one, if a couple without biblical grounds decides to get a divorce, in the eyes of the Lord, that couple is still married.
So a future relationship is problematic.
Now, Jesus is not putting the moral onus on the improperly divorced woman (or man)...
Jesus is speaking to the man who divorces his wife without biblical warrant.
He is saying to that man that you are treating something that is sacred, mysterious, and valuable to God as if it were nothing.
Except in the case of sexual immorality...
Jesus gives us one exception to the prohibition against divorce.
Jesus clarifies what Deuteronomy 24 was always pointing toward...
Sexual immorality as covenant-breaking...
This is not the only place where the Bible speaks to reasons for divorce.
We will look at a couple other places in a moment.
The most important thing, though, to note is that Jesus is not commanding divorce in the case of adultery.
The Lord can do a remarkable work of grace and mercy in the marriages even after adultery if we will allow him to do that.
That is preferable for a thousand reasons.
Hard Questions
The plan...
The point of Jesus's message in these two verses was not to deal with every question about marriage, divorce, and remarriage in a systematic way.
His point was to highlight the SACREDNESS of marriage.
And that is my point in this message as well.
But, this passage raises some questions that the Bible answers.
I want to answer these carefully...
Not to give anyone an escape hatch...
But to guard tender consciences and warn hardened ones.
Questions
A. When does Scripture permit divorce?
How to Answer
To answer this question, we have to study at least two other New Testament passages:
Matthew 19.3–9
1 Corinthians 7.1–40
I am going to give you my best answer based on those two passages.
You can study these passages on your own to confirm what I am saying.
Disclaimer
If you find yourself scanning these passages in a desperate attempt to find a way out, then it is likely you are missing the point.
If you are scanning for a way out, you may be missing the point.
If you are wounded and trying to understand whether you are free, then listen carefully.
What is the point?
Marriage is sacred.
First put your energy into rescuing your marriage.
Some situations will defy every effort.
Then there are these biblical grounds for divorce.
Three Biblical Grounds for Divorce
Physical adultery
Your spouse engages in physical adultery...
Abandonment
Your spouse physically abandons you and will not respond to invitations for reconciliation...
1 Corinthians 7.15 | But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. (CSB)
Functional abandonment
Your unrepentant spouse creates such an ongoing unsafe environment (such as in an abusive situation) that you cannot physically stay.
Unbiblical Grounds for Divorce
I fell out of love.
I fell in love with someone else.
I am not happy.
God wants me to be happy.
He or she does not meet my emotional needs
Let me be clear...
I am not minimizing real suffering.
I am distinguishing between ordinary marital hardship and covenant-breaking sin.
The goal is not to make divorce impossible.
The goal is to make marriage sacred again.
Jesus is not trying to trap broken people.
He is confronting hard hearts that treat covenant like a contract.
B. When does God allow remarriage after divorce?
This question is really answered by the previous question.
What does it mean that a divorce has biblical grounds?
It means that you are no longer bound to that marriage.
1 Corinthians 7.15 | But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace. (CSB)
Many faithful interpreters understand “not bound” to mean free to remarry.
It means that remarriage is permitted.
What does it mean that a divorce does not have biblical grounds?
It means you are not morally free to pursue remarriage.
It means you are not free from the one-flesh union that you formed and that God sanctioned in your first marriage.
It is dangerous for me to say these things without stopping and taking an hour to explain all of the relevant Scripture passages.
These verses deserve careful, patient study.
I am summarizing them in a few minutes.
So, let me read just a few verses without a lot of comment...
1 Corinthians 7.10 | To the married I give this command—not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. (CSB)
1 Corinthians 7.11 | But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to divorce his wife. (CSB)
I know that leaves many other questions...
Does the equation change if my ex gets married?
Does the equation change if my ex dies?
Those are important questions.
If you cannot find the answer to those questions in these passages, one of our ministers would be happy to help you.
But what is the point of all of this?
All of this is to highlight the sacredness of marriage!
If you owned a Fabergé Egg, you would build all kind of security devices around its display so that nothing happened to it!
You would put it behind glass.
You would install alarms.
You would insure it.
You would guard it carefully.
God values your marriage infinitely more than collectors value a Fabergé egg.
If I remarried without biblical grounds, what should I do?
Some people are thinking...
Oh no, pastor...
I am remarried, but my previous divorce did not fit into one of the biblically defined categories...
Is my marriage an adulterous marriage?
Let me speak plainly...
Let me speak with both the truth and mercy of God's word...
(The following section leans heavily on Daniel Akin, Craig Blomberg, Kevin DeYoung, and Charles Quarles.)
None of us can go back and undo our past.
If we could, we would.
But we must deal faithfully with God in the PRESENT.
If a remarriage began on unbiblical grounds, that was sin.
But you do not correct one broken covenant by breaking another.
God does not call you to dissolve your current marriage to repair the former one.
If you sinned in your divorce:
Ask God for forgiveness.
Be honest about your guilt.
Where possible, seek forgiveness from the one you wronged.
But now honor the vows you have made.
Remain faithful to your current spouse.
The call is simple:
Stay where you are.
Repent.
And walk in obedience from this day forward.
It is not a small thing to tear apart what God joined together.
But God’s grace is not small either.
Divorce is not the unpardonable sin.
Let the repentance be real.
Let the confession be honest.
And then run to the cross.
There is mercy for you.
There is cleansing for you.
There is restoring grace for you.
You are not a second-class citizen in God's family and God's kingdom.
You are a beloved child of the King.
How to Treasure an Imperfect Marriage
We all have imperfect marriages.
Any time two sinners come together, there will be sin!
But the Lord specializes in the imperfect!
Let me give you two brief ways to treasure your imperfect marriage...
I. Recover God’s Vision for Marriage.
How does God see your imperfect marriage?
Let me give you three truths...
Three Truths God Says About Your Marriage
A. Your marriage is a one-flesh union joined together by God himself.
Marriage is not merely a social arrangement...
It is a supernatural union.
From the beginning, God Himself is the acting agent...
He joins a man and woman into “one flesh.”
Matthew 19.6 | So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (CSB)
Genesis 2.24 | This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. (CSB)
That is why divorce is never merely a personal decision...
It is the tearing apart of something God has welded together.
B. Your marriage vows were promises to God, not to your spouse.
When you stood at the altar, you did not merely exchange promises horizontally...
You made covenant vows before a holy God who witnessed and heard every word.
That is why Scripture treats marital unfaithfulness as treachery, not merely incompatibility.
Your spouse may forget your vows; God does not.
What I say in most weddings I lead...
Your marriage is a covenant not a contract...
A contract says, “If you perform, I remain obligated.”
A covenant says, “I bind myself to you.”
C. Your marriage is designed to display the unconditional, covenant love of Christ.
Marriage does not merely exist for companionship or personal fulfillment...
It exists to preach the gospel.
Paul calls it a “profound mystery” because it reflects Christ’s covenant love for his church.
Ephesians 5.32 | This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. (CSB)
Every act of faithfulness in marriage becomes a living testimony of a Savior who keeps his promises.
GOSPEL
II. Fight for the Marriage God Has Given You.
Put the Lord First.
The best thing you can do for your marriage is not romance your spouse...
It is revere your God.
I have heard some crazy stories...
Well pastor, I know God wants me to be happy...
The Lord wouldn't have put this person in my life if he didn't want me to pursue him or her...
So I know God is OK with me leaving my spouse...
The Lord has given me a peace about it...
All of those statements are about putting yourself first.
They are baptizing desire.
Jesus never said, “Follow your peace.”
Matthew 16.24 | If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. (CSB)
When God is first:
His word governs your feelings.
His covenant outweighs your cravings.
His glory outranks your comfort.
Where There Has Been Failure, Run to Grace.
Some in the room have failed.
You divorced wrongly.
You sinned sexually.
You hardened your heart.
You neglected your vows.
The answer is not denial.
The answer is not despair.
It is confession.
1 John 1.9 | If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (CSB)
Divorce is not the unpardonable sin.
Adultery is not beyond the blood of Christ.
But repentance must be real.
Run to the cross and then walk faithfully where you are now.
See Marriage as a Daily Opportunity to Reflect Christ.
Don’t miss this.
God has given you one person to love in a way that mirrors the gospel.
That is not small.
That is sacred.
The greatest sermons you preach may never be from a pulpit.
They may be at your dinner table.
They may be in the quiet consistency of faithfulness.
You are not just loving a spouse.
You are rehearsing the gospel.
Ephesians 5.25 | Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. (CSB)
Ephesians 5.32 | This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. (CSB)
Marriage is not ultimate...
Christ is!
But marriage is meant to point to what is ultimate.
Fight for Your Marriage!
If the Lord lets me preach another ten years,
I will have preached thousands of sermons.
I will have baptized thousands.
I will have raised millions of dollars.
But if at my funeral it could honestly be said:
His wife felt loved, cherished, and secure.
That would not be sentimental success.
That would be theological faithfulness.
Why?
Not because life revolves around my wife.
But because marriage is a living parable of Christ and his church.
If I fail there, I have obscured the gospel at the most intimate level.