Sermon: Better Together – 2 – How to Bring People Together – Philemon (3/15/26)
Introduction
Scripture
Turn in your Bible to the book of Philemon.
Philemon is one of those New Testament books that often gets ignored...
But it is a powerful and helpful book!
Every Christian should know this book.
It is only 25 verses, about 350 words...
It is a letter from Paul to his friend and church leader, Philemon.
It presents a model of how Christians should treat each other especially when there is a potential for disagreement and conflict.
And it presents the gospel for every day living.
Last Sunday, we read every verse of Philemon.
Today, I'll just summarize the story...
Here is the story...
Paul was in prison, likely in Rome...
Philemon lived in Colossae.
He was a church leader and maybe a church planter.
Paul had shared the gospel with him years earlier while he was visiting Ephesus.
Philemon had a slave, Onesimus.
Slavery worked much differently than what we think of as race-based slavery.
All slavery is bad because it fails to treat all people as made in the image of God.
Onesimus would likely have been a slave because his parents were slaves.
His parents or grandparents likely became slaves because they lived in a land conquered by the Romans and the Romans captured and sold them as slaves.
Onesimus ran away.
That was a serious crime in that day and could be punished by death.
It was also a major financial loss.
A skilled slave in that day was very valuable and cost between 2,000 and 5,000 denarii.
If we take the middle of the range: 3,500 denarii...
That amounts to more than $500,000 in today's dollars...
Because it's a small world, Onesimus somehow ended up in Rome with Paul.
Maybe he got a job working in the jail...
Maybe he was a prisoner for some time...
Paul shares the gospel with Onesimus and he makes a profession of faith.
Paul and Onesimus become close friends...
And Paul learns about Onesimus fleeing from Paul's friend, Philemon.
Paul encourages Onesimus to return because it was the right thing to do.
Paul encourages Philemon to receive Onesimus back as a brother in Christ.
Gospel
The best reason to love this story is that it portrays the power and the glory of the GOSPEL.
Philemon's life was changed because of the gospel.
Onesimus's life was changed because of the gospel.
Philemon 11 | Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me. (CSB)
The appeal Paul makes points to the gospel.
Paul appeals to Philemon on behalf of Onesimus.
Philemon 10 | appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I became his father while I was in chains. (CSB)
Christ appeals to the Father on our behalf.
The basis of Paul's ask points to the gospel.
Paul tells Philemon that he will pay what Onesimus owes...
Philemon 18 | And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. (CSB)
Paul is willing to pay something he did not owe to rescue a guilty man who could not pay for himself...
That is a picture of the gospel!
When Paul says he will pay anything Onesimus owes, he is putting himself in the place of owing the money or accepting the punishment.
This is what Jesus did for us...
2 Corinthians 5.21 | He made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (CSB)
GOSPEL
Reconciliation
Today we will focus on what this letter says about reconciling broken relationships...
Specifically broken relationships among Christians.
This does not necessarily apply to broken relationships among those who are not Christ-followers.
Why is this important?
A. It shows the world we are true Christ followers.
John 13.35 | By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”(CSB)
B. It makes us imitators of God.
2 Corinthians 5.18 | Everything is from God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ and has given us the ministry of reconciliation. (CSB)
C. It makes worship effective.
Matthew 5.23 | So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, (CSB)
Matthew 5.24 | leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. (CSB)
D. It is just pleasant.
Psalm 133.1 | How delightfully good when brothers live together in harmony! (CSB)
Psalm 133.2 | It is like fine oil on the head, running down on the beard, running down Aaron’s beard onto his robes. (CSB)
Psalm 133.3 | It is like the dew of Hermon falling on the mountains of Zion. For there the Lord has appointed the blessing— life forevermore. (CSB)
E. IT IS A GOSPEL NECESSITY!
Because of the reconciliation with the Father that we have experienced and received because of the efforts of Christ...
How can we be anything other than reconciled community...
What could ever separate us?
Scripture
Philemon 1 | Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother: To Philemon our dear friend and coworker, (CSB)
Philemon 2 | to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church that meets in your home.(CSB)
Philemon 3 | Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. (CSB)
Philemon 4 | I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers, (CSB)
Philemon 5 | because I hear of your love for all the saints and the faith that you have in the Lord Jesus. (CSB)
Philemon 6 | I pray that your participation in the faith may become effective through knowing every good thing that is in us for the glory of Christ. (CSB)
Philemon 7 | For I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother. (CSB)
Philemon 8 | For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right,(CSB)
Philemon 9 | I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus, (CSB)
Philemon 10 | appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I became his father while I was in chains. (CSB)
Philemon 11 | Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me. (CSB)
Philemon 12 | I am sending him back to you—I am sending my very own heart. (CSB)
Philemon 13 | I wanted to keep him with me, so that in my imprisonment for the gospel he might serve me in your place. (CSB)
Philemon 14 | But I didn’t want to do anything without your consent, so that your good deed might not be out of obligation, but of your own free will. (CSB)
Philemon 15 | For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently, (CSB)
Philemon 16 | no longer as a slave, but more than a slave—as a dearly loved brother. He is especially so to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. (CSB)
Philemon 17 | So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would me. (CSB)
Philemon 18 | And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. (CSB)
Philemon 19 | I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—not to mention to you that you owe me even your very self. (CSB)
Philemon 20 | Yes, brother, may I benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. (CSB)
Philemon 21 | Since I am confident of your obedience, I am writing to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. (CSB)
Philemon 22 | Meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, since I hope that through your prayers I will be restored to you. (CSB)
Philemon 23 | Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings, and so do (CSB)
Philemon 24 | Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my coworkers. (CSB)
Philemon 25 | The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (CSB)
How To Bring People Together
I. Leverage Your Love.
Value peace...
We should so value peace and gospel-based reconciliation between Christians, that we are willing to leverage our influence to bring together divided parties.
If there are two Christians who are divided...
And you are on good terms with both of them...
You have the influence of love with both of them...
You must seek to bring them together.
That is what Paul did.
In fact, he was the only person who could have done this.
Philemon and Onesimus both needed Paul to do this...
Scripture...
Philemon 8 | For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, (CSB)
Philemon 9 | I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus, (CSB)
Your Momma...
I know your momma told you to mind your own business.
And certainly we do not need to be busy bodies...
But because we are GOSPEL PEOPLE...
It should so bother us to see two gospel people at odds...
It should so bother us that we are willing to...
Take a risk...
Do the hard work...
Notice how Paul approached Philemon...
"Philemon, you know how much I love you..."
Reflected in Philemon 9a...
"I've had to be reconciled with people before as well"
Reflected in Philemon 9b...
Do you know story of Paul and Mark?
Sharp disagreement and failure on Mark's part described in Acts 15...
Acts 15.37 | Barnabas wanted to take along John who was called Mark. (CSB)
Acts 15.38 | But Paul insisted that they should not take along this man who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone on with them to the work. (CSB)
Acts 15.39 | They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed off to Cyprus. (CSB)
Acts 15.40 | But Paul chose Silas and departed, after being commended by the brothers and sisters to the grace of the Lord. (CSB)
Acts 15.41 | He traveled through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches. (CSB)
Paul and Mark did not leave the wound open.
2 Timothy 4.11 | Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you, for he is useful to me in the ministry. (CSB)
Caution...
If you do not have a close relationship with each party, then you are probably not the one to lead this reconciliation.
II. Believe People Can Change.
The big barrier...
Can I be honest with you?
This is something I struggle with.
I can get so cynical so quickly...
I think...
He or she will never change!
Fool me once...
When I think like that...
I pat myself on the back and call it...
Wisdom...
Discernment...
But often it is not wisdom and discernment...
It is a denial of the gospel!
Because of the gospel, people can change.
I'm sure thankful the Lord has been changing me!
And I am counting on him continuing to change me!
Philemon's Likely Barrier
What would have made it hard for Philemon to welcome Onesimus back?
"I don't trust him."
"He is a scoundrel, a thief, a trouble maker..."
So, what does Paul say?
Philemon 10 | appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I became his father while I was in chains.(CSB)
Philemon 11 | Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me. (CSB)
Gospel Change...
Let's realize that our cynical attitude toward people is often a denial of the power of the gospel!
III. Point to a Godly Purpose.
Common Mistake...
Often we think that reconciliation has to be built on working out all of the details of the offense.
What did you do?
Why did you do it?
How did you respond?
Why did you respond in that way?
Here is the problem with that...
First...
Because everyone is looking at the situation from their own skewed perspective, you will never have a shared understanding of exactly what happened.
Second...
That is a worldly reconciliation...
There is another way...
Appeal to reconciliation based on who we are in Christ not that we have worked out all of the details of the argument.
Be reconciled because...
We are brothers in Christ...
Christ has reconciled us with the Father...
Based on his life not on working out the details of our failures.
Our reconciliation with each other will be a GOSPEL TROPHY!
Listen to the basis of the reconciliation Paul sought...
Philemon 15 | For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently, (CSB)
Philemon 16 | no longer as a slave, but more than a slave—as a dearly loved brother. He is especially so to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. (CSB)
Conclusion
<<<<<<<<<< MUSIC BEGINS HERE >>>>>>>>>>
To chance your arm...
Ireland, 1492
Two powerful families locked in violent feud...
Butlers
FitzGeralds
Butler family fled to safety by locking themselves in a room in a cathedral in Dublin......
The FitzGeralds had the advantage and could have stormed the cathedral room or at least they could have starved the Butler family...
But the FitzGeralds, led by the Earl of Kildare, wanted peace.
The problem was that the Butlers did not trust him so they wouldn't open the door to negotiate.
So, the Earl of Kildare ordered his men to cut a small hole in the door.
The Earl walked up to that door stuck his hand and arm through the hole...
He took a chance...
After a moment of hesitation, the Butlers inside the room shook his hand...
The door was opened...
The feud ended...